So I'm already slacking on blogging...yay me. Tons has happened during my little "hiatus"... I wasn't going to post it on here because I didn't want to come across as whiny but you know what?? This is my blog to bitch and moan about whatever the hell I want to bitch and moan about; so I'm going to. Suck on THAT! Not that you would know anything about him, but, boyfriend and I broke up (so I suppose I should refer to him as ex-boyfriend, yes?). I will spare you the details of everything just because I'm too lazy to type it all out but, I will say this; Break ups are a LOT easier when you can be mad at that person. What the hell is up with breaking up on good terms?!?! It's stupid. If you no longer want to be in a relationship with someone, there should be hurt feelings, anger, and hatred. It makes the "moving on" process a ton easier. But breaking up on good terms?! Nooooooooo... not in the slightest bit... Then it's all "...it's not you, it's me..." and "I'm far to inferior to your greatness to have you be seen in public with me..." Not cool guys, not cool. Let me give you a list of things you should do when you break up with a girl...
Break Ups for Dummies
Step 1: Make her cry. This is more of a test. If she cries, then she really cares. If she really cares you can proceed with the next step; if not, then she's already over you and you can go about your business.
Step 2: Attack her "Achilles Heel". Bring up something from the past that she confided in you. Something that will really hit a nerve for her. The bigger jerk you are to her, the faster she'll hate you and get over you.
Step 3: Lie. If she asks you if you cared about her the same way she cared about you, say no. Don't give an explanation. The more vague you are the better.
Step 4: Don't help her. If she needs help gathering her belongings, just watch her struggle. Assistance shows caring, and we don't want that now do we?
Step 5: Don't make eye contact. No eye contact will show a lack of interest on your end. Also (and this is VERY IMPORTANT) do not, I repeat, DO NOT watch her as she leaves because if she turns around and see's you watching her she is going to think there is still something there.
Step 6: You are now single, lonely, and an asshole. Congrats. Whether or not it's true, she now believes that she is MUCH better off without you.
DISCLAIMER!
**I don't actually condone any of this behavior, but it made me feel better writing it. So I did. If a guy ever broke up with me like this I would probably just kick him in his balls and be done with it. Just sayin'.
XO,
-A
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